By Ntsikelelo Colossa
“If you want to go fast, go alone. If you want to go far, go together.” — African Proverb
“Wisdom is like a baobab tree; no one person can embrace it.” — African Proverb
“The child who is carried on the back does not know how far the journey is.” — African Proverb
When I am asked what I have learned from women’s leadership, my heart immediately returns home. It returns to my grandmother, my mother’s sisters, and every woman who chose to lead with love rather than power. Their leadership was not built on titles or positions; it was rooted in compassion, sacrifice, faith, and service. They gave me the greatest gift they had received from their own parents—love.
I grew up being raised by a single mother. Poverty was our daily reality. There were days when I was chased away from school because I had no school fees, no uniform, and sometimes no food.
Who learns with an empty stomach?
Who listens when they are constantly being sent home?
As a young boy, I silently convinced myself that if I could not help myself, no one would.
One of my mother’s sisters was a teacher at Teto High School. She never knew that the reason I was absent was because of poverty. When she eventually heard from my classmates, she asked me, “Why didn’t you tell me?”
In my young mind, I believed everyone could already see my poverty.
The women of the Mashaba family became our shelter. They protected us from the darkness that poverty often brings.
Another of my mother’s sisters, the first NUM Secretary in her area, sponsored my Grade 11 education in Johannesburg. She had promised to help me continue my studies even when my own father was absent from my life. Although life unfolded differently, her sacrifice changed my future forever.
That is why I always say: Charity begins at home. Leadership begins at home.
The Bible reminds us: “Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress…” — James 1:27
True leadership begins by caring for those who have little.
The Book of Job also reminds us how fragile life is: “Man who is born of a woman is of few days and full of trouble.” — Job 14:1
Those words remind me that suffering is part of the human journey. We should therefore meet one another with compassion instead of judgment.
Women’s leadership shaped the kind of man I wanted to become.
Not a man who dominates.
But a man who protects.
A man who serves.
A man who respects women as equal partners in building life.
Today I am married to an extraordinary woman. She is my companion, my adviser, my manager, my eyes when I cannot see clearly and my ears when I struggle to hear truth. She constantly encourages me to embrace the gifts that the God of our Ancestors has placed within me.
I was also mentored by women in traditional healing and spirituality. I have had the privilege of training women prophets and traditional healers. Some came carrying brokenness, yet today they continue healing others and restoring communities.
Leadership reproduces leadership.
Because women believed in me, I learned to believe in others.
That journey inspired me to establish the Colossa Foundation so that we could become hope for those who had almost given up. Through bursaries, mentorship and community work, we continue planting seeds of hope.
It still amazes me that many of the people who remember my contribution are women who believed in me long before I believed fully in myself.
Nocawe Ngcoza sponsored my music and helped me record my songs. She saw purpose where others only saw struggle. That is leadership.
There is another lesson life has taught me: Not every woman leads with compassion. Some will feed you while calling you a dog. Others will feed you while reminding you that you are chosen. The difference is not wealth. The difference is character.
As another African proverb says: “A good heart is better than all the heads in the world.”
There are moments when painful memories freeze me. Trauma has a way of interrupting productivity. During those moments, my wife gently lifts me up and reminds me that my past does not define my future.
No one truly knows what another person’s pain has done to them. That is why I remain passionate about young people and why #BoychildDoCry was born from lived experience rather than theory.
Women continue supporting my music, my ministry and my community work.
I have also been blessed by the leadership of women within the LGBTQIA+ community, Ikhwelo Healers Collective, the Faith Action Collective to End GBV, We Will Speak Out SA and the International Permaculture CoLab.
These women have shown me leadership that puts humanity before self. Leadership that understands suffering. Leadership that chooses service over status.
Someone may ask why I say 95% of the women I have encountered have been extraordinary. The remaining 5% reminds us that leadership without compassion becomes selfishness. It belongs to those who only wish good for themselves and their own children while ignoring the suffering of others.
The Bible warns us about this attitude: “Suppose a brother or a sister is without clothes and daily food. If one of you says to them, ‘Go in peace; keep warm and well fed,’ but does nothing about their physical needs, what good is it?” — James 2:15–16
And Proverbs teaches: “Whoever oppresses the poor shows contempt for their Maker, but whoever is kind to the needy honours God.” — Proverbs 14:31
I am the product of women. My mothers taught me how to cook. How to clean. How to care for other human beings.
My late mother’s sister once told me: “My child, become a better man. Learn to cook. Learn to clean. Never expect a woman to exist simply to serve you. If you live this way, you will become one of the happiest men.”
Those words continue guiding my life.
To every woman who has led me, prayed for me, corrected me, challenged me and believed in me, thank you.
To those who now rest with our ancestors, I continue walking in your teachings. I am not perfect, but I am committed to becoming better every day.
When I see women, I do not see competition. I do not see a threat. I see partners. I see sisters. I see mothers. I see leaders.
Every time I witness the greatness of women, I remember what God did through the women of the Mashaba clan.
VoMashaba.
Xilumani Xiluma Yintshila.
Sitsheketshe Nomu.
I also honour BoBhangqo—Omsthilibe Ondize noLanga.
Today I proudly raise your clan flag, honouring those who came before us while preparing the way for those who are still to be born.
I conclude with this conviction:
God is not limited by human gender. The Creator works through women and men alike. Both reflect the image of God.
As Scripture declares: “So God created mankind in His own image… male and female He created them.” — Genesis 1:27
To the God of our Ancestors be all the glory.
Photo: A morula tree is important in our culture, especially from my mother’s side.